Monday, October 16, 2017
Thursday, October 12, 2017
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Al: I look like a pumpkin
An: Ya why’d you smile like that
Me: You look pretty
An: Oh....Ya pretty..
Al: i was nervous
An: It looks like you have gi distress and you’re trying not to let out a fart
Al: Thanks. It's my photo for life.
F: St. Vincent just called me back
A: And? Play hard to get.
F:I’m at work I have to call them when I get out they left a voicemail. What if they don’t want me then how do I play that game.
A: Say you didn’t want them first anyway
F: Yes good idea
A: That’s what I always do
Me: I'm currently googling cat costumes
M:Are they actual costumes or mean girls costumes?
Me: Veloceraptors.Like for my cats. Costumes for my cats. Lol you thought I was googling sexy Halloween costumes for myself
M: Of course.
Monday, October 9, 2017
An: Ali do you start insurance next week?
Al: Yes Monday
An: Are you gonna take us out to celebrate
Al: This is weird... I think it's the other way around? No one has even made an appreciation post.
An: What’s that mean
Al: Like wow my sister. Been through hell and back. Recovering alcoholic lands a good job.
An: Oh I thought like wow my brother works 2 jobs and has 2 kids and took the time to help me fill out apps/do testing/talk about interview questions
Al: I tell everyone you date a super model. I thought that was good enough.
Me: 2 kids? You have at least 6 counting the neighbors
Friday, September 29, 2017
R: ...when you graze your patient's colostomy bag with your bare ankle and even though you know it's sealed can smell the poo and feel it on your leg. I just bathed in sanitizer.
Me: Cut it off. Won't ever be the same.
R:Excuse me, can you scooch over so I can lie down in your bed and die here?
I feel faint