Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Is it diarrhea??

(814): If i shit myself at the gym how long until I can come back.....
(412): LMFAO!!!! I can't breathe.

Friday, March 20, 2015

On a Sunday

You can't be asking people to wax a vag on a Sunday

Art Heist

Me: Babe, "French couple convicted of concealing 271 Picassos."
Babe: Fred Couples? The professional golfer?

Friday, March 6, 2015

Batter

Me: what is this on my pants?
S: I always assume since I don't wash my jeans its some type of batter.
Me: uh huh.... 😑