Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Photo ID

Al: I look like a pumpkin

An: Ya why’d you smile like that

Me: You look pretty

An: Oh....Ya pretty..

Al: i was nervous

An: It looks like you have gi distress and you’re trying not to let out a fart

Al: Thanks. It's my photo for life.

New jobs

F: St. Vincent just called me back

A: And? Play hard to get.

F:I’m at work I have to call them when I get out they left a voicemail. What if they don’t want me then how do I play that game.

A: Say you didn’t want them first anyway

F: Yes good idea

A: That’s what I always do

Halloween for older Adults

Me: I'm currently googling cat costumes

M:Are they actual costumes or mean girls costumes?

Me: Veloceraptors.Like for my cats. Costumes for my cats. Lol you thought I was googling sexy Halloween costumes for myself

M: Of course.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Group Texts: New Job

An: Ali do you start insurance next week?

Al: Yes Monday

An: Are you gonna take us out to celebrate

Al: This is weird... I think it's the other way around? No one has even made an appreciation post.

An: What’s that mean

Al: Like wow my sister. Been through hell and back. Recovering alcoholic lands a good job.

An: Oh I thought like wow my brother works 2 jobs and has 2 kids and took the time to help me fill out apps/do testing/talk about interview questions

Al: I tell everyone you date a super model. I thought that was good enough.

Me: 2 kids? You have at least 6 counting the neighbors

Friday, September 29, 2017

Problems with hospital recruitment

R: ...when you graze your patient's colostomy bag with your bare ankle and even though you know it's sealed can smell the poo and feel it on your leg. I just bathed in sanitizer.

Me: Cut it off. Won't ever be the same.

R:Excuse me, can you scooch over so I can lie down in your bed and die here?
I feel faint