Saturday, July 4, 2015

Saturday, May 30, 2015


group text message

sister: take the babysitter home
brother: i ain't putting no little girl in my car
sister: good idea
me: you will be on an episode of dateline
brother: i'd pull into her driveway and Chris Hanson would be waiting for me.

Friday, May 29, 2015


I don't know nothing about that llama dick but I know it ain't no horse dick.


a: Maybe you should just close your legs.
r: Sound advice for so many situations.