Friday, March 20, 2015

On a Sunday

You can't be asking people to wax a vag on a Sunday

Art Heist

Me: Babe, "French couple convicted of concealing 271 Picassos."
Babe: Fred Couples? The professional golfer?

Friday, March 6, 2015

Batter

Me: what is this on my pants?
S: I always assume since I don't wash my jeans its some type of batter.
Me: uh huh.... 😑

My masseuse

He had a sexy man bun. I was into him.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Washer and Dryers

Alyssa: Antonio said if anyone has gold chains, gold rings, gold watches, brass knucks, etc he will take them to gold exchange in exchange for a washer & dryer. desperate times call for desperate measures people.
Me: Why didn't he take Julie's when she was giving them away
Antonio: I wanted a set made before 1930 so I knew it didn't have lead in it.
Me: LOL. Was it really that old, come on.
Antonio: It actually had a tag on it saying built by only the finest slaves so yeah, it was that old.