Monday, April 14, 2014


I'be got a certificate saying I'm crazy. Doesn't mean I'm going to hurt anyone.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Math Class

Teacher: this homework will get you ready for next week.

Student: next week???! I don't know what's going on now.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Math Class

Mother: So do you think this is going to be the first class you fail?
Me: Maybe
(In the background)
Alex: Thank God. I can't wait to rub that shit in her face. WELCOME TO THE D CLUB BITCH.


Patient: Can you handle a banana?
Me: Umm......

Friday, December 13, 2013

Work Relationships

Me: She has had a traumatic day today.
Chris: Why? Did you see something on pinterest that upset you?

Friday, December 6, 2013


Dear friends you will never be as hipster as a man with mutton chops and skinny jeans gingerly picking up a worm from the sidewalk and placing it back into the grass. You may continue about your day.

Oh and he waved at the worm as he walked away.

USA Jobs.